Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Epiphany #2

Mosaics to die for -- oops!, The Vatican, September 2005, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/30 sec @ f2.8, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp
“You look like you are in another world, dear,” my wife said to me as she was letting the dog outside.

“I Am.”
Today I got it. I may not have it tomorrow, but thank God (or Buddha, or Oneness) for the glimpse every now and again.

This is not a conscious volition of the self (“oh, doesn’t everything look so beautiful today”), it is a tour de force from the Absolute Self. It controls you — that small, egoic body and mind, and gives you a glimpse of the ineffable.

Was it God? Nature’s beauty? Divine Grace? Don’t label it. No, it was none of those “things”, those “concepts” which are all that they are — they are words, and they cannot express the feeling, the power, the radiance, that captivity. And of course all they do is trigger in others their own concepts and biases and guarantee only one thing — you won’t be talking about the same experience.

But here is my epiphany. I saw in that Beauty how the saints (and sinners) felt that they were in God’s presence. That was their metaphor. Appropriate (or not) for the time and place, it is what they Felt, Saw, Heard, Smelled, and even Tasted. Just This. It is what Rumi expresses so well. What Christ had in mind. What my Egyptian friend means when he sees Allah in all things.

Everything connected, with a purpose. Not an individualistic “what is my role in this drama” kind of purpose. That is simply the ego looking for validation or motivation. But an interconnected, holistic, incomprehensibly cosmic, evolutionary purpose. And more than that. A beauty, a harmony, an elegance, a simplicity, a flow.

My eyes may always be open, but they do not always see. The infinite depth, the incredible energy, the simple being. I am convinced I am not special (or if you like, we are ALL special — egos, bah humbug). This moment is there for all of us, and it is always available. At any moment. On any path. How else can so many independent cultures speak so poetically of the Divine. They sensed it, or more. And you can too.

But I think it takes some intention. Not on the goal, for I do not see such a cause and effect (perhaps even the opposite). It takes awareness (not purpose). It takes presence (not activity). It takes openness (not answers). It takes acceptance (not judgment). It takes being (not labeling).

And such intention seems to me to be a glorious way to live, regardless of any cosmic insights.

Thank you for being a partner in this process. It is my intention to share these reflections of beauty that brought me to this point.

(Note: My first epiphany is described here.)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing such an incredible insight.

-g

Steven Crisp said...

g,

I am glad you found it useful. It is my pleasure to share it, for as I noted, my intent to do so is doubtless what allowed it to occur.

As I read back over the words, recorded as the experience was underway, they really do no justice. But that you recognized something there inspite of my limitations, makes me feel better. Thanks for visiting.

S-

Marroniah said...

Hi Steven,

When you said, "But I think it takes some intention. Not on the goal, for I do not see such a cause and effect (perhaps even the opposite). It takes awareness (not purpose). It takes presence (not activity). It takes openness (not answers). It takes acceptance (not judgment). It takes being (not labeling)." How about just LETTING It be?

Simply allowing, or letting the Spirit Be, has been helpful for me. With inspiration (in-spirit-ation), that is all that is required. This sounds too easy, but is is wrought with difficulty for most, for it means we must, in many respects, release a well trained insanity of mind that prevents It from being experienced within. But oh! Sweet Sanity!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us on this.

Marroniah

Steven Crisp said...

Marroniah,

Yes, I agree with you entirely. And that is just what I was trying to describe. What does it mean to "just be".

Many people don't readily appreciate that -- it is not something that is discussed much or encouraged in our society. And so, I was trying to point out for some what it is not: having a purpose, doing an activity, sure of the answers, judging the experience, or labeling what you observe. But again, that is just an alternate way of describing "just being".

Thanks for the visit and your observation.

S-