The Butterfly Effect

Spread your wings, Garden Pond, Amherst, NH, September 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/380 sec @ f2.8, ISO 50, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

Have you ever watched a butterfly closely? So delicate, so graceful, so relaxed, so unhurried.

Why not spread your wings and follow its lead. Can you tread lightly upon this earth, floating from place to place? Can you offer a smile, and a kind word to everyone you meet, full of grace? Can you take a deep breath and let your mind settle down, and relax to your Authentic Self? Can you slow your tempo, and observe more of the world around you, patient and unburdened by those racing to and fro?

You see, it is that easy to become a butterfly yourself. Floating along, in wonder. Alighting here and there, barely noticed. Except that your radiance shines forth and catches some attention. And causes those who see to pause, and contemplate becoming a butterfly themselves.

And when you get stuck on the need to force a change in the world you see, remember the butterfly effect:

The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that ultimately cause a tornado to appear (or, for that matter, prevent a tornado from appearing). The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.

-- extracted from Wikipedia

Howya doin?

Howya doin?, Amherst, NH, August 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/500 sec @ f6.4, ISO 50, with flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

Hey there -- howya doin? Me? Oh fine, thanks for asking ... I'm just hangin around. Why? Just to get your attention -- to see if you are paying attention. Hey, go ahead and click on the picture so I can get a better look at you.

Now, can I offer you just one thought for your day? Here ya go ... Take care now, ya hear?

If you could get rid of yourself just once, the secret of secrets
would open to you. The face of the unknown, hidden beyond
the universe would appear on the mirror of your perception.

-- Rumi

Another specimen

Another specimen, Garden Pond, Amherst, NH, August 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/317 sec @ f3.6, ISO 50, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

Look at how beautiful this one is. Another type -- I don't know what kind. Is this yet another for my collection? Do not worry, I'm just talking about photos. This one (and all of them) gently floated away when my camera became just a little too annoying.

But recently I read this quote from Ken Wilber, and though perhaps a little harsh, it does express my sentiments of organized religion versus spirituality:

When I was a youngster, and being the mad scientist type, I used to collect insects. Central to this endeavor was the killing jar. You take an empty mayonnaise jar, put lethal carbon tetrachloride on cotton balls, and place them in the bottom of the jar. You then drop the insect -- moth, butterfly, whatnot -- into the jar, and it quickly dies, but without being outwardly disfigured. You then mount it, study it, display it.

Academic religion is the killing jar of Spirit.

-- Ken Wilber, One Taste: November 24

Peeking

Peeking, Hilton Hawaiian Village, Waikiki, Honolulu, HI, February 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/150 sec @ f4.5, ISO 64, with flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

He's peeking. You're peeking. I'm peeking. We're all peeking into a world so unimaginable, so undescribable, so undeniable -- it is beyond belief. Because it just is.

So as you catch a glimpse, glance in that direction, espy something deeper, gaze inward, and have a peek into this world, ask yourself just who is the "I" that is peeking?

“The inner growth is very still and very silent. You are growing, and even you cannot be aware of it unless something totally new happens and makes you aware that you have reached some space that was unknown to you. And that can happen any moment. On your part great patience is needed, and a trust that the whole existence is in support of all those who are trying to grow spiritually. It is not you who are trying to grow spiritually; it is existence who, through you, is trying to reach to its utmost heights.”

-- OSHO

Say 'ahhhhhh'

Say 'Ahhhhhh', Concord, MA, August 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/200 sec @ f5.0, ISO 50, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

There is something very pleasing about a beautiful flower, recently bathed in rainwater, and now illuminated by everpresent sunlight as the clouds move to and fro. Can you say 'ahhhhhh'? Just say it, and you relax a bit.

No, not the 'aaahhhh' when you visit the doctor and he looks down your throat. Not the 'aawwwhh' when you are disappointed that things did not go as you had planned.

But the 'ahhhhhh' when you slip into a warm bath. The 'ahhhhhh' when you snuggle under the covers and leave all of your cares crumpled in a heap with your clothes at the foot of your bed. The 'ahhhhhh' when you sip a full-bodied wine and twirl it in your mouth with your tongue. The 'ahhhhhh' when you smell fragrant flowers in your garden, and it brings back many memories of days gone by.

This delicate 'ahhhhhh' belongs to a Hibiscus that my mother-in-law planted many years ago. And while she passed on a few years ago, the beauty of her garden remains, and is rejuvinated every year. What a wonderful way to remember her.

Taj Mahal

Taj Mahal, Agra, India, August 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/600 sec @ f5.4, ISO 50, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

I know, I know, it looks just like a tourist photo, but I said I would post one, and I didn't really take any artsy ones. But the Taj Mahal warrants special note anyways -- it really is a beautiful building and landmark. And some of the stories surrounding it are rather interesting. For example ...

You can probably guess that the Taj Mahal is made out of marble, but did you know it is a unique nonporous kind of marble. That hardness both keeps the acid rain from destroying it, and also enables its embellishment with inlaid semi-precious stones over much of its facade. When you get close, you would think the designs and Arabic writing are painted on because they are as smooth as the marble, but in fact, they represent the inlay of millions of pieces of semi-precious stones and black marble.

The Taj Mahal is entirely symmetrical. There is even a mosque on the left side, and to keep the grounds symmetrical, they built a duplicate on the right side, but it isn't an actual mosque because it faces away from Mecca. Also, the king who built this tomb for his wife (she died in childbirth with her 14th child!), was going to build a contrasting duplicate of it totally out of black marble across the river, as his own mausoleum. But the king's son (and head of his army) felt that was just too extravagant, and instead had his father placed under house arrest for the rest of his life. So instead he was buried next to his wife, thus creating the only asymmetry of the Taj Mahal.

Anyways, I found it interesting, and worth the visit. Even though that did involve back-to-back four-hour drives between Delhi and Agra, and let me tell you, that is quite an experience.

Blending in the background

Screen silhouette, Humayun's Tomb, Delhi, India, August 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/90 sec @ f3.2, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

This is another picture from Humayun's tomb. This "screen" is carved out of a 2" slab of marble. Each of the many windows had a different screen pattern. Interestingly, I did make it to the Taj Mahal (which I'll show later) and it was fantastic, but the screens there were not as nice as right here in Delhi.

I remember when I asked my coworker to take this picture. He said "you'll never show up, it's too bright." I said "I know, that's the point."

To blend into the background, to become part of the background, to dance between the light and dark. After all, that is what you are, part of the everpresent background. So stop trying to stand out. Stop trying to call attention to yourself. And notice the background presence instead. Be that presence.

Reflection in the grass

Reflection in the grass, Humayun's Tomb, Delhi, India, August 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/360 sec @ f3.2, ISO 100, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

I'm traveling to India on business at the moment. After more than 24 hours flying, we arrived at our hotel in Delhi at 2:00 AM. Therefore, yesterday was considered a "rest day". But why rest, when you can get out and see a few sights.

The reflection shown here is of Humayun's Tomb to honor the eldest son of Babur, who succeeded his father and became the second emperor of the Mughal Empire. The tomb was built from 1562-1572. It is the first significant example of Islamic Mughal architecture with high arches and double dome. It is also considered the first example of the garden-tomb, which culminated in the world famous Taj Mahal (which I hope to see later in the trip).

I found this photo interesting, as they were working on the garden ponds, and therefore had to pump out the water onto the surrounding lawns. So from this waste, comes this art. To me it looks like a painting, and I can almost see the brush strokes and texture of the oil paint on the canvas. Take a look below, and see what you think.

Is it raining?

Rain on the sun, Garden pond, Amherst, NH, August 2008, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/180 sec @ f3.6, ISO 50, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

Our dog Frito is usually our alarm clock. He wakes us up at oh-dark-thirty in the morning for a quick stop outdoors on his way to breakfast. Most members of my household would rather sleep. But I like to get up then. It is usually beautiful outside.

But sometimes it's raining, like on this morning. So I grab the umbrella and my camera (always my camera), slip on some sandals, and open my eyes. Still looks pretty spectacular to me. I can't find the sun in the sky, but it's right there, colorfully reflecting back the raindrops that fall all around, and pitter-patter above my head while I take this photo.

Yes, even when it's raining outside, I can't think of a better time of day, or a better place to be. With eyes wide open.

Sunrise after the storm

Best time of the day, New Brunswick, Canada, August 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/140 sec @ f2.8, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

It had been a very stormy night. Blinding lightning followed by crashing thunder, the kind that rattles you out of bed, and freaks out the dog. It knocked out power, and made gulleys in the dirt. But we finally fell back to sleep, and when Frito decided it was time to brave life out from under the covers, this is what greeted us.

Isn't that just the way things are? Inevitable rocky, turbulent periods, followed by quiet, peaceful times that can help us recognize the beauty and the awe of it all. And then again.

Hey, while I haven't been posting too much over here lately, I have been busy elsewhere. You can check out some of my other rambling thoughts over at my Just Un-Do It blog.

No worse for wear

No worse for wear, Garden pond, Amherst, NH, August 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/385 sec @ f5.0, ISO 100, with flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

Look closely at his wings. Tattered gossamer. Can you see the small tears in the ends? I wonder how that happens. Did he narrowly escape being eaten by a bird, or is this just from doing dogfights too close to the cedar tree. I'm glad he made it. He's probably getting up there in dragonfly-days. They don't get to live too long. And even with their short life, their body begins to give way.

But to me he looks happy. Certainly no fear in letting me close to take this picture. He may be battle-scarred, but he is also glorious. Hey Mr. Dragonfly -- now you are immortalized.

What's the buzz?

Bee on Physostegia, Pickity Place, Mason, NH, August 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/430 sec @ f4.5, ISO 50, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

I heard some buzzing, and then spotted this bee visiting a beautiful Physostegia plant. He would climb right inside each little bell-shaped flower, with no hesitation. So far in you couldn't even see him. Climb right in and get coated with pollen, and then crawl out and fly to the next one, and then another plant, and then he was gone, off to another garden I suspect.

I find it fascinating that our evolutionary process has developed such interdependent relationships. Wouldn't it just be a lot easier if each organism could "do its own thing", and propogate by itself? Why add in this 'messiness': the complexities, the dependancies, the possibly unfilled expectations?

Perhaps because diversity is essential, and is its own reward. To just keep doing your own thing can get a bit boring. Making little carbon copies of yourself wouldn't be very interesting, now would it. In fact, it would be the antithesis of evolution -- it would mean stagnation.

Doesn't that help illustrate the interconnectedness of life? You need the bees, to pollinate the flowers. (Yes, I know that is not true in all cases, just illustrating even more the complexity and diversity of the evolutionary process itself.) You can have an incredibly healthy, well pruned, properly fertilized apple orchard, but without the bees, you'll get no fruit (trust me on this one). And without fruit, they will not evolve. The next time some mite comes along to attack the apple trees, that will be the end of the apples.

I think it is the same way with people. You can congregate with those who share your beliefs, look like you, want the same things. But without a diversity of world views, you'll never grow -- never evolve. There will be nothing to upset your comfortable world, and you'll stagnate, and die out. You actually need the diversity.

We shouldn't fear differing views and opinions, even when they challenge our fundamental beliefs. We should recognize that by being open to these new perspectives -- by pollinating each other with our respective ideas -- we have the potential to move beyond our current world views. And this is needed for the good of society, the planet, and the well-being of mankind.

And I further think that the Internet (and yes, even blogging) can facilitate this exchange of divergent views. Never before has so much of mankind been able to have a dialog so easily. Yes, there is a very long way to go. But you can see that the seed has been planted. And now it grows.

But we have to decide how we will respond to these new world views. Will we each pull up our mental draw bridges and keep these different ideas at bay for as long as possible? Firm in our resolve of an 'us' versus 'them' conflict. Or will we welcome them into our minds, and take a moment to consider them, from their perspective, and perhaps see the world just a little bit differently afterwards.

This is not about accepting someone else's world view carte blanche -- it's about using it as a catalyst in our own thinking. A spark to light a fire of reflection. A seed that may germinate if kept warm and watered with contemplation. And a bell that gently rings, on occassion, to remind us to pause and consider the fundamental issues of life.

I think nature has shown us there is only one way that will work in the long run. We must evolve.

Making Sandcastles

Sandcastles to come, Waikiki, Honolulu, HI, February 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/375 sec @ f6.4, ISO 50, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

Making Sandcastles -- Author Unknown (slightly edited version)

Hot sun. Salty air. Rhythmic waves.

A little girl is on sitting on the beach scooping and packing the sand with plastic shovels into a bright yellow bucket. Then she upends the bucket on the surface and lifts it. And, to the delight of the little architect, a castle tower is created.

All afternoon she will work. Spooning out the moat. Packing the walls. Bottle tops will be sentries. Popsicle sticks will be bridges. A sandcastle will be built.

Big city. Busy streets. Rumbling traffic.

A woman is in her office. At her desk she shuffles papers into stacks and delegates assignments. She cradles the phone on her shoulder and punches the keyboard with her fingers. Numbers are juggled and contracts are signed and much to the delight of the woman, a profit is made.

All her life she will work. Formulating the plans. Forecasting the future. Annuities will be sentries. Capital gains will be bridges. An empire will be built.

Two builders of two castles. They have much in common. They shape granules into grandeurs. They see nothing and make something. They are diligent and determined. And for both the tide will rise and the end will come.

Yet that is where the similarities cease. For the little girl sees the end while the woman ignores it. Watch the girl as the dusk approaches.

As the waves near, the wise child jumps to her feet and begins to clap. There is no sorrow. No fear. No regret. She knew this would happen. She is not surprised. And when the great breaker crashes into her castle and her masterpiece is sucked into the sea, she smiles. She smiles, picks up her tools, takes her mother's hand, and goes home.

The grownup, however, is not so wise. As the wave of years collapses on her castle she is terrified. She hovers over the sandy monument to protect it. She blocks the waves from the walls she has made. Salt-water soaked and shivering she snarls at the incoming tide.

"It's my castle," she defies.

The ocean need not respond. Both know to whom the sand belongs...

I don't know much about sandcastles. But children do. Watch them and learn. Go ahead and build, but build with a child's heart. When the sun sets and the tides take - applaud. Salute the process of life and go home.

Ripples on the Surface of Being

Ripples and Stillness, Ala Moana Park, Honolulu, HI, February 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/240 sec @ f4.7, ISO 102, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

It's been a while since my last post. Sorry about that. Work-stuff got in the way. And increasingly that feels like a competition for time -- at least for quiet time, in the morning or in the evening -- when there is nothing else to think about. Or time to spend outdoors in nature. Time that becomes no time. Timeless time. Only experiencing the present moment.

I am reading the latest edition of the magazine What Is Enlightenment?. It is a recollection of selected articles over their 15 year publishing history. And right in the middle I came to an interview between Eckhart Tolle and Andrew Cohen. You can read that interview, entitled Ripples on the Surface of Being, if you are interested.

There is something about Eckhart Tolle that really reasonates with me. He seems to have a very simple way of relating the material world that we all live in to the unmanifest ground of being from which the world emerges. The metaphor he uses here is that the material world is "real" insofar as it is a small part of the vastness of being, like ripples on the ocean are a part, but only a small part, on the surface of its vastness.

He also clearly articulates that you can get in touch with the unmanifest simply by being present in the moment, and by surrendering your egoic wants and needs through being open to what is unfolding Now. He also makes clear that this work on the self -- enlightenment, transcendance, egoless being, or whatever term you wish to call it -- can happen at any point in time, whenever you are ready. It need not wait another day. You can read about the little epiphany I had based on my could-not-put-it-down read of his most famous book, The Power of Now.

There are many other take-aways, but instead I commend the article to you as a worthwhile read. So many sages and thinkers can be hard to uderstand and fully appreciate. I think Eckhart Tolle just speaks from his experience, and his curent state of awareness, and is very easy to understand. Good reading.

Noble dominos

Noble Dominos, Arlington Cemetery, July 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/560 sec @ f4.6, ISO 100, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

Can you hear them cresting, breaking?
In a sea of green, who has not sinned?
All around me, white-capped warriors
And yet there is no wind

It is ghostly calm and quiet
Such a contrast to the battle call
Rows and rows of noble dominos
In distant lands began to fall

Hear them pray to their God, their savior
Different names they each call out
As they exhale their final breath
The mason’s chisel leaves no doubt

Here they rest, so brave, so honored
Now they’ve paid the ultimate price
Was it worth their final journey?
Did you feel their sacrifice?

Can we really keep the peace
By waging battles bravely fought
As our brothers, sons, and fathers
Reap the victory that we sought

Silent Warriors

Silent Warriors, Garden Pond, Amherst, NH, July 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/360 sec @ f4.7, ISO 122, no flash © Steven Crisp [Click on the photo to enlarge]

They have invaded my land, these silent warriors
They fly in formation, their aerial acrobatics
High G maneuvers, mixed with delicate hovering

Freed from the water, do they remember their former selves?
Is that why they dance in the air, samba and cha-cha with the breeze
So beautiful (and grotesque), when will we look beyond the surface?

They seem coy, as I call to them,
Please rest here and let me see, the iridescence of your gossamer
And stay safe, wary of your enemies

While you hunt, you are also hunted
What is this life, this struggle?
It is good, is it not? (Given the alternative.)

Oh sweet nectar, call your companions
This symbiosis, that enables all of life
It is whole, and inextricably linked

Judge not one part, lest you judge yourself
Harm not one being, lest you harm yourself
And struggle not, but if you must fight

Arm yourself well, as you walk into battle
You will need something, that can conquer
Disarm your enemy, with only love and compassion

Standing still

Standing Still, Garden Pond, July 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/560 sec @ f4.5, ISO 100, no flash © Steven Crisp
[Note: as of yesterday, I've started to upload full size photos to Blogger, so if you want to see more detail in this (and subsequent) photos, just click on the photo]

Do you have a place where you can go and just "be" with nature? To stand still and observe all that is alive around you? To soak in the colors from an indescribable pallete. To bathe in warm breezes and drink in sweet nectar?

Please find your place and go there. Spend quiet time there, at least some of it alone. With nothing to do, and no where else to be. Hear nature sing to you. Let her embrace you, put her arm around your soul.

It makes me think of this poignent poem. Be aware of the world around you, and all of its mysterious beauty.

And A Meadow Lark Sang

"The child whispered, 'God, speak to me'
And a meadow lark sang.
The child did not hear.

So the child yelled, 'God, speak to me!'
And the thunder rolled across the sky
But the child did not listen.

The child looked around and said,
'God let me see you' and a star shone brightly
But the child did not notice.

And the child shouted,
'God show me a miracle!'
And a life was born but the child did not know.

So the child cried out in despair,
'Touch me God, and let me know you are here!'
Whereupon God reached down
And touched the child.

But the child brushed the butterfly away
And walked away unknowingly."

-- Ravindra Kumar Karnani

And of course these opening lines by William Blake (from Auguries Of Innocence):

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

A Magical Place

A Magical Place, Garden Pond, Amherst, NH, July 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/1818 sec @ f8.0, ISO 50, with flash, color adjusted in iPhoto © Steven Crisp
[Note: as of today, I've started to upload full size photos to Blogger, so if you want to see more detail in this (and subsequent) photos, just click on the photo]

I live in such a magical place. And it makes me think of Lucy, even without drugs, really.

And now with so many apologies to the Beatles ...

Picture yourself as you float on a pond,
With tangerine cattails and pink dragonflies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of orange and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the bee with the sun on her side,
And she's flown.

Stevie on his back with his camera.
Stevie on his back with his camera.
Stevie on his back with his camera.

Follow her down to a bridge by the outlet
Where bumble bee giants eat pollen for pies,
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high.

Frito the terror appears on the shore,
Waiting to catch frogs all day.
Lay on the ground with your head in the clouds,
And you're gone.

Stevie on his back with his camera.
Stevie on his back with his camera.
Stevie on his back with his camera.

Picture yourself in a chair on the water,
Where evergreen bullfrogs eat looking glass flies,
Suddenly someone is there in the garden,
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

No eating in bed

No eating in bed, Amherst, NH, July 2006, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/160 sec @ f3.0, ISO 64, no flash, super macro © Steven Crisp

Since we are on a sex theme, I thought I'd get this one out of the way as well. These are Japanese beetles, making mince meat out of our cherry tree, and just having a grand old time. No shame. Group sex. And boy do they eat. All of the succulent parts of the leaves, such that only the veins remain.

Now if only the Purple Martins that have taken up residence in our yard had a taste for Japanese beetles, that would be very satisfying indeed. And maybe they could leave our dragonflies alone?

Bee Bomb!

Bee Bomb!, Garden Pond, Amherst, NH, July 2006, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/160 sec @ f3.0, ISO 64, no flash, super macro © Steven Crisp

A little racy, yes? Now I know why they call the plant Bee Bomb (I know, I know, it's not spelled that way ;-) These two are certainly having a bomb of a time.

Ah, evolution in progress. All creatures embrace the flow. It is their natural state -- our minds tend to get in the way. Can you find ecstacy in the garden? Smell the delicate earthy fragrance. Open your eyes to nature's rich, oily palette. Feel her warm, tender petals. Taste the rich, luscious nectar. Sense the buzz of life all around, and become electrified.

You only have to Be and you will have your balm.

Don't Do the Dew -- Be the Balm. And Go with the Flow.

Cute and furry

Chipmunk and Daylily, Amherst, NH, July 2006, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/160 sec @ f4.6, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp

Now here's something you don't see everyday. I had no idea that chipmunks liked to eat daylily flower petals. Maybe it's time to consider going vegetarian.

The Metamorphosis

The Metamorphosis, Garden Pond, Amherst, NH, July 2006, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/125 sec @ f7.7, ISO 64, with flash © Steven Crisp

I was walking around our little garden pond today and look what just happened to be stuck to the underside of one of our pond plants! My own little biology class ;-) I assume this is some sort of dragonfly undergoing a metamorphasis from larvae (actually, properly called an aquatic nymph) to adult, but I have not been able to confirm that -- all you entimologists are invited to offer your insights.

Evolution is certainly an interesting process, and dragonflies have been around in one form or another for over 200 million years, continuing to perfect that branch of the evolutionary experiment. It has resulted in some measured excellence -- for example, dragonflies are the fastest insects on earth, capable of flying over 60 mph. And their eyes have over 30,000 facets giving them excellent vision over nearly 360 degrees. I wonder if this is a picture of one adult from the same order.


As I was looking on the internet for some information on what type of critter this might be, I finally found a link that showed time sequenced photographs of the metamorphosis, and found out that this transformation from aquatic nymph to flying adult takes only a few hours. Alas, when I went back to watch my nymph more closely, she was gone -- perhaps already having flown away. How can such a dramatic transformation -- in physical form as well as physiology -- take place in such a short span of time?

You know, I always had this image in my mind of aquatic nymphs, which look just a little different than this bug. I think I like John William Waterhouse's image a little bit better. Which would you prefer to find in your pond?

Black Hole

Black Hole, Yoshidaguchi Trail, Mt Fuji, Japan, July 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/137 sec @ f2.8, ISO 100, no flash; color, saturation, and contrast heavily adjusted with iPhoto © Steven Crisp

Ripples in the fabric of space-time itself. A distant thing and no-thing within the Kosmos. Energy and matter caught in its gravitational pull, rotating and falling into the abyss never to be seen again (as far as we know). In the center, the absence of light, beyond its own event horizon. Returning the manifest to the fertile void; a singularity where the laws of our world do not apply. The definition of infinity and nothingness. Where time and space do not exist. This is not a spiritual message, sent to us by sages and prophets, but advanced theories reported in peer-reviewed journals by scientific materialists.

How interesting that all paths lead us to the ineffable, even those discovered by science. That which cannot be adequately described with words. Where words lose their meaning. Before words.

And do you believe that you can find this place? Forget belief -- can you actually find it? It is available to us all. It is our Authentic Self -- the Ground of All Being -- God, if you like. Where we are all one, forever. Timeless, spaceless, wordless. The definition of infinity. Neverland. Foreverland.

Rippling mountain tops

Rippling Mountain Tops, Looking down from Mt. Fuji, Japan, July 2006, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/640 sec @ f5.64, ISO 64, no flash © Steven Crisp

Well I just finished my second climb of Mt. Fuji. Had a very enjoyable time, and will write about it in more detail in my Hiking and Seeking blog. Perhaps you've heard what they say: "Everyone should climb Mt. Fuji once, but only a fool would climb it twice". Well, you know what that makes me.

I guess one interesting aspect of climbing Mt. Fuji is the challenge to both mind and body. While not technically challenging at all, it is something of an endurance contest (14-hours over 9,000 vertical feet up to the summit at 12,388 ft), and if you throw in a 50 mph soaking rain, as you are trapped in a human traffic jam waiting to reach the summit, in the middle of the night, it can test your mental endurance as well.

But on this hike, in spite of one period of bad weather, we had an enjoyable time, and saw some nice scenery, like this photo during the decent. When the rain had cleared, you could see all of the mountains around Mt. Fuji poking their summits through a sea of receding clouds. I wonder what they call someone that wants to climb it a third time?

The Revelation

Let There Be Light, St. Ignatius of Loyola church, Rome, Italy, September 2005, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/20 sec @ f3.5, ISO 400, no flash © Steven Crisp

Last night I saw something. Or something was downloaded, or uncovered. Or somehow it was revealed to me. It’s hard to explain. It wasn’t a dream, and my recollection of it now is not a memory; more of a knowing (but without conscious knowing). Like a deep-seated intuition that just now resonates. Strange, yet very liberating.

So what was it? Well let me start with a brief review of last evening. I was having dinner with a good friend, and after our 20th piece of sushi, I brought the conversation around to the question: “can we intentionally evolve consciousness?” This is my shorthand summary of the teaching of Andrew Cohen, that I referred to briefly in a recent post.

We went back and forth, and round and round, on what it means to evolve, and to relate that literally to the biological process that includes modifying our genetic code such that evolved traits are handed down to future generations. Sure, by changing the course of events (e.g., by not blowing ourselves up) we are influencing evolution (by giving it more time to work on our species), but that is not actually directing the evolutionary process. Maybe it is not so black and white. Clearly, that is adapting to our environment, another tenant of Darwin’s evolutionary process, but here we refer to somatic adaptation — namely, that process independent of and not directly able to affect the genetic material buried within our DNA and passed on to our offspring. So sure, of course, we “create” our environment moment to moment. And that can alleviate (or create) much suffering in this world through our conscious actions, and potentially affect our societies, and possibly even our species as a whole. But that is not evolution, at least as I see it.

My revelation brought me back to the ego. A necessary device, evolved precisely for the purposes of keeping our biological body alive long enough to procreate and continue the evolutionary process, which is Life, God, Creation, Divinity, call it what you will. It is that remarkable process that permutates offspring and then selects those most adapted to whatever environmental changes have occurred.

The ego provides us with a useful test for all transcendental ideas. If the idea proves to be uniquely positive in any way for the ego, it is suspect, and likely not sourced from your Authentic Self, the Ground of All Being, or God him/her/itself (if you like), but instead is the product of your (or another’s) ego, albeit possibly dressed in some very clever garb.

If you think about the implications of this for a while — reflect upon it, contemplate on it — it is truly mind-boggling (which is in some way the whole point, since the mind is rather attached to the ego). Imagine what the world — our societies — would look like if they were not sculpted by people’s egos. Frankly, it would have some of the most dramatic impact right here in the United States, a society whose culture has come to emphasize individualism (“I” as separate from society), and over the last generation, has been dutifully polishing its narcissistic tendencies (with a few notable exceptions).

There is an article I read recently about an eye doctor named Dr. Govindappa Venkataswamy (thankfully known as Dr. V, which itself is an amazing coincidence — if you believe in such things — since I just recently saw a movie about man known only as “V” and wrote about it here). Anyways, his story really began at the age of 57 (giving all of us hope who think we may have been climbing the wrong ladder during our “productive” years ;-). At that point, he had a vision (with a capital V ;-) about giving sight to millions blinded in India as a result of cataracts, and so poor as to never even having conceived of a way to address this limitation. Starting up ophthalmology hospitals, and giving those services away for free to over 70% of their clientele, he has “opened the eyes” of literally millions, not only by his operations, but also by his actions. The metaphors just tumble out of this story.

What I also found interesting about the article, is that it was published in “Fast Company”, surely a metaphor for “capitalism at net-speed”, which, when you stop to think about it, seems about as orthogonal to the actions of Dr V, and the paradigm and philosophies he exposed and espoused, as one could get. And perhaps that is precisely the point, and the poetic beauty of it all. Reveal for the culture most in need of help seeing its society as a whole — and not a collection of 300 million little “I’s” (pun intended) running around trying to get their piece of the pie, at the expense of the 299,999,999 others. Surely you can see the absurdity of that paradigm. It fails the fundamental test — indeed it is the poster child of its antithesis — because it serves the ego first and foremost. And as I have written about elsewhere, it “doesn’t scale”. Therefore, it cannot reflect a universal truth, or offer a solid foundation from which to judge the Truth.

Whoa, let’s get back on track. This story was about a revelation. So what was revealed? Only this: The world will be an unimaginably different place when we awaken to our Authentic Self and begin to live those principles. And that is the most we can and should ask of any one — any ego — out there. Work on yourself, and then live your life from the revealed truths, and let that be your example. Try not to “change others” for that can lead to only different futures, not to the Truth. Try not even to awaken others, for they will, must, and can only, awaken themselves. Your true guidance to them comes from your life, not your words, no matter how much you may wish it to be otherwise. Otherwise, it is your ego, looking to be right, or respected, or God-forbid, revered.

So no, we cannot intentionally influence the evolution of consciousness. Consciousness, a manifestation of life, or perhaps that which life manifests from, is indeed evolving. Just roll the evolutionary clock back a thousand generations ago and you will see that our species had not evolved enough to even ask these questions. Now, there are some who feel confident they can not only ask but answer them (don’t worry, I do not count myself among them ;-) And I am confident that as the evolutionary process continues, more and more of us will choose to ask ourselves these questions, and of course, once the student is ready ...

So if you are at that point in your own development where you are asking yourself these questions, continue to probe deeply — for you have been given a gift. A mind savvy enough to know there is more than itself to satisfy. An ego clever enough to try to trap you into its survival model, but supple enough to bend under the weight of insight into your Authentic Self. A will strong enough to resist the onslaught of societal messages looking to inflate your narcissism and deflate your wallet, and of course, in the process, enslave you into the mechanization of progress. And under it all, ever present to your sincere inquiry, a wisdom and truth revealed upon which your new life can be built, and from such action and recognition, fundamentally new societies will be built over time. Do not wish to rush them, for like all great ideas, first they are ridiculed, then denounced, then opposed (violently if the stakes are high enough, which they surely are here), then accepted as obvious. This, I believe, is the end state that evolution is moving toward, and why at this time we are asking these questions. But we are still a long way away. We may even be an evolutionary dead end (only the ego would presuppose we are the “chosen ones”). Do not be discouraged by that. It gives you time to understand these principles, to know these truths, and to demonstrate them in your daily life. From that point, there is only peace. Inner peace that can handle all of the vicissitudes of life (small “l”) that Life (big “L”) has to offer.

And I will meet you on this journey, in fact, I already see you on the path. Keep walking. When the journey becomes difficult, keep walking. When you see beauty and solitude and grace at every corner, take them in, but keep walking. Remain ever present, and keep walking. And then, as Rumi said,

"Out beyond the ideas of right-doing or wrong-doing there is a field - I'll meet you there."

Tree Frog Surprise

Tree Frog Surprise, Amherst, NH, June 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/430 sec @ f5.6 ISO 60, no flash © Steven Crisp

My friend says "hi". He's a local gray tree frog around our house (he can change colors from green to gray -- I saw another on granite, and he was perfectly camouflaged). I found this friend the other day, as I was reclining in a lounge chair. Right by my head! Scared the bejeezus out of me, but he didn't mind.

Then after a few photos, he scooched himself back under the lounge chair pillow. Needless to say, I always check to see if my friend is around nowadays before I take a seat. (In reality, this is a pretty rare visit, since they are nocturnal, and live in trees during the day. He's probably down for some mating.) As you can see below, I think he's a little camera shy, but he happily sings his songs at night, with a bunch of his buddies -- a cappella.

Nature sure has some interesting critters.

Camera shy, Amherst, NH, June 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/180 sec @ f2.8 ISO 100, no flash © Steven Crisp

I call it 'art'

I call it 'art', Kyoto, Japan, April 2005, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/250 sec @ f5.0, ISO 64, no flash © Steven Crisp

It shades me from the sun, keeps me cool at mid-day. It is a parasol, so what?

Only this. It is so much more than a 'parasol'. It lets me open my eyes, when they would otherwise be blinded by the light. And what do I see? The expansive universe, radiating outward from the fertile void. All lines interconnected, and through their interaction and overlap, beautiful radiant colors emerge. I see wholeness, unity, the one with the many. I see acceptance and the recognition that every line has an integral part to play, and without them all, the structure could not exist. I see opening and closing, night and day, fluid motion and the flow. I see the kaleidoscope of nature. I see evolution. I see structure and hard surfaces, and I see gossamer overlaid on it all. I see the gentleness and tenderness of the surface, and yet appreciate its integrity and its strength. I see light and I see dark, and I know they are the same.

And I see more than this. I see an elderly woman, gathering bamboo in the country, with the sun filtering through the green leafed forest, strong with vertical lines. And I see an elderly gentleman, gathering rice in the paddy that will serve as his food and as the paper, and a mirror to his soul. I see the clouds that brought the rain, and the sun that helped both grow. I see their grandchild, who visits on occasion, and learns a bit about their history, and their trade. I see their own parents. And I see who they were before they were born.

Right there -- you can see it too, can you not? And I can see the camera, moving around underneath its shade, looking for the right angle to capture all of this, and to expose it for you. One moment. One snapshop of the flow, a part of the flow. Keep looking. You will see it too.

Feed the birds

Feed the birds, Waikiki, Honolulu, HI, February 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/186 sec @ f4.7, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp

A while back, I was out for my morning run, and came across this man just sitting there with some bird food in his hands, as hundreds of birds flew around him and had their breakfast. I was in Hawaii, at the Ala Moano park, and there are quite a few homeless people that live there. I'm not sure if that was this gentleman's situation or not.

This seems like a nice gesture, and a way to get in touch (literally) with nature. He was perfectly still, as all of life fluttered around him. Waves were lapping at the jetty in the background, surfers were trying to catch some waves before work, runners and walkers were getting some exercise, along with some Japanese performing Tai Chi. Fishermen were casting their lines into the ocean. Homeless people were washing up in the public beach showers. Outriggers were leaving the harbor for some practice runs. And then there were all of those birds. And within this activity, this man sat there fully present and still.

Anyone have any tuppence? Come on, you remember the song:

Mary Poppins Lyrics
Feed The Birds (Tuppence A Bag)

Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul's
The little old bird woman comes.
In her own special way to the people she calls,
"Come, buy my bags full of crumbs.
Come feed the little birds, show them you care
And you'll be glad if you do.
Their young ones are hungry,
Their nests are so bare;
All it takes is tuppence from you."
Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag.
"Feed the birds," that's what she cries,
While overhead, her birds fill the skies.
All around the cathedral the saints and apostles
Look down as she sells her wares.
Although you can't see it, you know they are smiling
Each time someone shows that he cares.
Though her words are simple and few,
Listen, listen, she's calling to you:
"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag."

Epiphany #2

Mosaics to die for -- oops!, The Vatican, September 2005, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/30 sec @ f2.8, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp

“You look like you are in another world, dear,” my wife said to me as she was letting the dog outside.

“I Am.”

Today I got it. I may not have it tomorrow, but thank God (or Buddha, or Oneness) for the glimpse every now and again.

This is not a conscious volition of the self (“oh, doesn’t everything look so beautiful today”), it is a tour de force from the Absolute Self. It controls you — that small, egoic body and mind, and gives you a glimpse of the ineffable.

Was it God? Nature’s beauty? Divine Grace? Don’t label it. No, it was none of those “things”, those “concepts” which are all that they are — they are words, and they cannot express the feeling, the power, the radiance, that captivity. And of course all they do is trigger in others their own concepts and biases and guarantee only one thing — you won’t be talking about the same experience.

But here is my epiphany. I saw in that Beauty how the saints (and sinners) felt that they were in God’s presence. That was their metaphor. Appropriate (or not) for the time and place, it is what they Felt, Saw, Heard, Smelled, and even Tasted. Just This. It is what Rumi expresses so well. What Christ had in mind. What my Egyptian friend means when he sees Allah in all things.

Everything connected, with a purpose. Not an individualistic “what is my role in this drama” kind of purpose. That is simply the ego looking for validation or motivation. But an interconnected, holistic, incomprehensibly cosmic, evolutionary purpose. And more than that. A beauty, a harmony, an elegance, a simplicity, a flow.

My eyes may always be open, but they do not always see. The infinite depth, the incredible energy, the simple being. I am convinced I am not special (or if you like, we are ALL special — egos, bah humbug). This moment is there for all of us, and it is always available. At any moment. On any path. How else can so many independent cultures speak so poetically of the Divine. They sensed it, or more. And you can too.

But I think it takes some intention. Not on the goal, for I do not see such a cause and effect (perhaps even the opposite). It takes awareness (not purpose). It takes presence (not activity). It takes openness (not answers). It takes acceptance (not judgment). It takes being (not labeling).

And such intention seems to me to be a glorious way to live, regardless of any cosmic insights.

Thank you for being a partner in this process. It is my intention to share these reflections of beauty that brought me to this point.

(Note: My first epiphany is described here.)

Can you see the wind?

Billowing clouds, Waikiki, Honolulu, HI, February 2005, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/400 sec @ f5.6, ISO 64, no flash © Steven Crisp

You see the wind every day, right? So you know exactly what it is, when it is present, which way it is blowing, and generally with how much force, right?

Actually, no. You cannot see the wind. Just like you cannot see the air you breathe, and a fish cannot see the water in which it swims. What you see are the effects of the wind.

You see unmown fields dancing gently with the breeze, undulating, in a rhythmic samba to some unheard melody. You see towering pines with their bows heaving, breathing each breath as it comes and goes, in and out, without conscious participation, just a part of the breath of life, literally, transforming carbon-dioxide into oxygen for you to breathe as the wind brings in the storm. And you’ve seen that storm, dark clouds billowing ever so slowly, like the overburdened locomotive gaining steam as it lumbers across the plains. Do not get in its way, for there is so much energy that is manifest there.

So what is my point? Only this: you cannot see the wind, but you can see its affect. This also is true of your thoughts. You cannot see them, but surely you can see that they too leave a signature for others to see. Sometimes gentle and caring, sometimes stormy and violent. These thoughts are real, and so are their affects. Gain control of your thoughts and you can dramatically affect both the world around you, and perhaps most importantly, your reaction to the world as it is.

This is the manner in which you affect the world — not by trying to “fix it”, make it “better”, more “fair”, more “just”; no, by careful attention, full awareness, and with a grounded wisdom that helps you understand and appreciate all that life is, and in which we are an integral part.

If there is something you don’t like about the world, change yourself, for you are as much a part of life as the distant stars and the mountain streams. Blooming gardens affect you, and you affect them through daily watering. As so many sages have noted over the years, you have all of the power the universe can offer to create, right now, in this instant, a world of beauty and peace and harmony. The power is in you. To interpret that which life offers to you, and to offer to life that which you wish to see.

So remember the power of the unseen wind, and realize your thoughts hold greater power by far.

Fireflies at night

Fireflies, Pack Monadnock, January 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/900 sec @ f5.0, ISO 50, no flash, heavily edited with iPhoto to boost contrast, saturation, temperature, hue, and lower brightness -- this is actually a picture of windswept white snow © Steven Crisp

I saw some fireflies tonight. Around the witching hour, as I was sitting in my hottub, soaking my sprained ankle. You've seen them before, right? Actually, you don't see the insect, you see the flash of light they occassionaly emit as they are flying around. You can guess what that flash of light is used for -- that's right, to attract a mate, so they can reproduce, so they can evolve (not consciously of course, they are just being fireflies, but in the end, that flash of light is one manifestation of the evolutionary process).

I also met some fireflies tonight. In Cambridge, at EnlightenNext, where yesterday I attended a seminar by Andrew Cohen, and today I attended a meditation session. Both of those were cool, and I'll write later about Andrew's talk, and where I think he is coming from. But the really interesting part of this evening was the discussion afterward. That's where I met the fireflies. Emitting flashes of insights -- sometimes brightly, othertimes barely visible.

Their purpose was just as clear. To attract a mate. Well, not in the procreative sense, but in the co-creative sense. These fireflies are also evolving, with the key difference that they are aware of their own role in the process. And so these flashes are to attract others who are ready, to nuzzle up together and find out if their ideas can stimulate one another's. And in the process, they fervently hope, to help brighten the midnight hour.

It was great fun, and I long for such conversation. As to whether we play an active role in evolutionary consciousness -- my jury is still out. But only good can come from sharing these ideas, and discussing their implications. Helping each other avoid inevitable obstacles, and to help light the way when the night becomes pitch black.

Fireflies with flashes of insights. And how about you? Are you ready to shine your light? If so, please join the discussion; and if you are not sure, then let your eyes follow the flashes in the darkness -- you'll know that the fireflies are out there. And they have an evolutionary urge to illuminate.

What is it?

What is it?, Warner, NH, June 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/100 sec @ f3.6, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp

Can you tell what this is? I had driven past this a dozen times, and kept trying to figure it out. Is it a shed with chairs hung over the peak, or is it a structure built just to represent art, or something yet again?

So one early morning as I was driving by, I figured I'd just check it out. Turns out there is no door on the building. Turns out those aren't chairs. Turns out someone built this as art. I find that rather amazing, and quite inspiring. Someone feels strongly about creating and sharing his art with everyone that drives by.

What are you creating? What are you sharing? Why not go out on a limb and put your creative spark on display.

Gone fishin'

Gone fishin', Ala Moana Canal, Honolulu, HI, February 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/180 sec @ f4.7, ISO 200, with flash © Steven Crisp

We watched this patient fisherman for some time. Very still upon his rock. I found the colors and contrasts to be particularly beautiful. Nothing pithy, deep or insightful to be said. Just liked the photo. I hope you do as well.

Beauty is everywhere

Beauty is everywhere, Warner, NH, June 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/125 sec @ f2.8, ISO 84, no flash © Steven Crisp

I have a secret to share with you. Beauty is everywhere. It is all in your mind. If you see something and think "beautiful" or "serene" -- that is what it becomes to you. If you see something and think "ugly" or "gross" -- it becomes that instead. The problem is that is your mind thinking. You need to get beyond your mind. You need to be present -- fully present, aware, and mindful -- and once you are in that state of "being" -- just being -- as the witness, you will see beauty everywhere. If you haven't experienced this yet, you need to trust me on this one. Well, actually, you don't need to trust me; you need to go experience it for yourself. You can find some tips here if you are curious.

So how can I illustrate this point? Well, take a look again at the beautiful picture above. What do you see -- incredible, vibrant, clusters of orange-yellow flowers? How about fungus on my boat after a week of rain, trapped under an orange life vest. I have no idea how it took on this color, or what kind of fungus it is. But one member of the family saw what it was and felt it was disgusting. All I could see was its beauty. Like Ricky Fitts (what a great character in American Beauty). Can you see it too? It is available to you anytime, anyplace. Take advantage of it. It is a great secret, and now you know. Don't feel like you need to keep the secret to yourself -- please share it with your best friend.

Plant a seed

Dandelion Clock, Warner, NH, June 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/180 sec @ f2.8, ISO 100, no flash © Steven Crisp

I'm sure you've picked up a dandilion after it has turned to seed (but perhaps you didn't know it is called a dandelion clock). And perhaps only as a child, blown the seeds about, letting them take flight on the faintest wisp of air, some carried near, some far, all eventually landing and waiting patiently for a little water and a little soil, to begin the magic journey once again. From just one of those tiny seeds, and entire new plant will emerge if the conditions are right, and perhaps continue on ad infinitum. Fields can become a mass of dandelions thanks to this process.

And so can you. Plant a seed, that is. Every thought we share with another has the potential of that dandelion seed. If the conditions are right, that seed might just emerge as a new idea or concept in the mind of another person, and from that, perhaps additional (otherwise unimagined) thoughts might be shared with yet others for subsequent blossoming. That is an awesome power -- that potential. I certainly hope you are sharing thoughts and ideas that you would want to propogate throughout the world. The potential really is there. Just in a single seed. This process is the miracle called life. Good planting.

Summertime snowman

Brussels Sprout Snowman, Amherst, NH, December 2005, Pentax Optio 555, Exposure 1/500 sec @ f6.3, ISO 64, no flash © Steven Crisp

Of course it wasn't summer when this snowman was made, but it seemed particularly refreshing after our first 95 degree day yesterday. Also, as I look back on this snowman from our neighborhood, I realize what geniuses the kids who made it are. Their parents must have said "Gee, we don't have a carrot for the nose, and what will you do for the mouth?"

Can't you see the lightbulb over the kids heads now when they asked, "Hey Mom, do we have any more of those yummy Brussels sprouts?" I'm sure they were sad to see them put to such noble use. Personally, I can't think of anyway to make a happier snowman, or happier kids!

Cool off and make somebondy's day. Hey, make your own day!

Warm-up on Monadnock Mountain

Grand Monadnock, Dublin, NH, June 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/550 sec @ f4.5, ISO 50, no flash © Steven Crisp

This post has been moved here as part of the Hiking and Seeking blog.

Simply wildflowers

Simply Wildflowers, Warner, NH, June 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/150 sec @ f2.8, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp

It can happen anywhere. You are walking along a non-descript field and then something cathces your eye. You are not sure why, but you like its shape, its color, the contrast with its surrounds. And you call it beauty. You start to see it more and more as you look around with full attention, with presence, with awareness.

Just stop for a moment. Pretend you are not trying to get from point A to point B. In primary school they may have taught you that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but you realized that was an abstraction, right? There are no points, no lines. These are mathematical concepts that help us solve conceptual problems. You don't have to live your life like a math problem.

So wander about a little. Like those Family Circus cartoons when the child is called home for dinner, and he takes the most circuitous route, just to explore everything he can on his way home. Open your eyes and see what the world has to offer. Smell all the scents. Feel all its textures. You'll be surprised as to how much of it is beautiful, and the more you reflect, and linger, and ponder, the more beautiful it becomes. Right before your eyes.

I offer this poem to help reinforce the point:

Love and Happiness: This Was The Most Beautiful Flower
-- by Cheryl Costello-Forshey

The park bench was deserted
as I sat down to read,
Beneath the long, straggly branches
of an old willow tree.

Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown,
For the world was intent
on dragging me down.

And if that weren't enough to ruin my day,
A young boy out of breath approached me,
all tired from play.
He stood right before me
with his head tilted down,
And said with great excitement,
"Look what I found!"

In his hand was a flower,
and what a pitiful sight,
With its petals all worn down
not enough rain, or too little light,

Wanting him to take his dead flower
and go off to play,
I faked a smile and then shifted away.

But instead of retreating
he sat next to my side,
And placed the flower to his nose and declared
with overacted surprise,
"It smells pretty and it's beautiful too.
That's why I picked it; here it's for you!"

The weed before me was dying or dead.
Not vibrant of colours, orange, yellow or red.
But I knew I must take it,
or he might never leave.

So I reached for the flower and replied,
"Just what I need."
But instead of him placing the flower
in my hand,
He held it mid-air without reason or plan.

It was then that I noticed
for the very first time,
That the weed-toting boy could not see,
he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver,
tears shone like the sun,
As I thanked him for picking
the very best one.

"You're welcome" he smiled
and then ran off to play,
Unaware of the impact he's had on my day.

I sat there and wondered
how he managed to see,
A self-pitying woman
beneath an old willow tree.
How did he know about
my self-indulged plight?

Perhaps from his heart, he'd been
blessed with true sight.
Through the eyes of a blind child,
at last I could see,

The problem was not with the world;
the problem was me.
And for all of those times
I myself had been blind,

I vowed to see the beauty in life,
and appreciate every second that's mine.

And then I held that wilted flower
up to my nose and breathed in the fragrance
of a beautiful rose.
And I smiled as I watched that young boy,
another weed in his hand,
About to change the life
of an unsuspecting old man.

Do ya think I'm sexy?

Great American Toad, Amherst, NH, May 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/690 sec @ f5.0, ISO 100, no flash © Steven Crisp

It's amazing what passes for good looks around the Crisp pond. And sultry voices too -- the subtitle to this photo is "So, is that a song in your throat, or are you just happy to see me?" You should hear these guys. At first I thought they were tree frogs. Quite the caucophony. But it turns out it was mating time for your run-of-the-mill Great American Toad. This is a male; the females don't sing, and are much larger, and apparently in high demand. They enter ponds for just a few days in the spring to mate. And boy do they mate. You can walk right up to them and they won't even move -- these guys are focused!

Now you may recall that we have a dog named Frito. Frito might as well be an acronym for Frogs Run In Terror Ordinarily. The reason we say "ordinarily" is that Frito of course likes to eat the frogs, but when he tried that on a toad, boy was he in for a surprise. He immediately dropped the toad and started foaming at the mouth. Seems toads secrete some poison from their skin that predators really don't like. We had to wash out Frito's mouth, and then he was fine. He tried it one more time, and then left the mating toads all alone. Nature is pretty clever.

Continuing with our nature lesson ... These toads left thousands and thousand of eggs in the pond. Long strings, each with a black spot inside. In a few days (after the toads had all departed), the eggs were gone and only the black dots remained. For many days it looked like the mating was a bust. But each one of those black dots finally started to flit about, and eventually became tadpoles (a very small sample of which are shown at right).

Looking at all of these tadpoles, I am reminded of a nature documentary I saw on the Christmas Island Red Crab migration. Millions and millions of baby red crabs migrating back from the sea, so thick they have to close roads and reroute traffic. Why so many? So that the species continues (and evolves). So other species have food (and can evolve). What is the purpose of any given red crab's life? That is probably the wrong question, but if you must have an answer, it would be just to survive and reproduce. The same with the tadpoles in my pond.

So when your ego is getting just a little too big for its own good, consider yourself the human equivalent of the Christmas Island baby Red Crab, or the Great American Toad tadpole. Individually, your purpose is not significant. But collectively, your purpose is to evolve the species. Let go of the ego, and see if you are doing your part to help out our collective humanity survive and evolve.

Dawn's Blaze

Dawn's Blaze, Washington, DC, January 2005, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/60 sec @ f4.7, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp

This is an unaltered photograph of the morning sky over Washington DC, during one of my many work trips. Look at the color, the intensity, the vibrance -- the sky is alive. Life is being created in this moment. Sleep in and you'll miss it.

I find the morning to be the best time for reflection and contemplation. And if this photo isn't inspirational enough, consider this quote from my favorite 13th century Sufi poet and mystic:

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you;
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want;
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.
-- Jalaluddin Rumi

Stained Glass Reflections

Stained Glass, Amherst, NH, January 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/50 sec @ f2.8, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. "
-- Elizabeth Kübler-Ross

When I look inside and see
that I am nothing,
that is wisdom.

When I look outside and see
that I am everything,
that is love.

And between those two,
my life turns.
-- Sri Nisagardatta Maharaj
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart ... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."
-- Carl Jung

Light a Candle

Light a Candle, Amherst, NH, March 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/25 sec @ f2.8, ISO 200, no flash © Steven Crisp

How do you respond to injustice? Are you outraged? Indignant? Offended? Upset? Do you wish for retribution, or at least that the perpetrator get his "justice". What do you personally do about it?

I offer that most of the time -- even when we are very well-intentioned -- we are effectively "cursing the darkness". Complaining about the injustice, and how things must change to rectify the situation. But have we really taken the big picture into perspective? Do we really understand the root cause of the "problem"? Are we really sure that our suggested "remedy" will not just create its own set of injustices down the road?

Why not "light a candle"? -- ask yourself what changes you can make within your own sphere of influence to help the situation, or more likely, your understanding and acceptance of the situation.

I suggest that if you are thinking of the need for justice and retribution, you may just be contributing to perpetuating continued injustices. Think instead of wisdom. What wisdom would either (a) avoid this injustice from occurring or (b) come to accept that it is a part of life and will likely continue to occur for the foreseeable future. Do you possess this wisdom - truly, deeply, innately? If not, why not work on that first, before suggesting to others what changes are needed. Then, over time, you can model the behavior and perspective you've come to conclude is needed to avoid or minimize or accept such injustices in the future.

For those of you that feel this is thinking too "small", and cannot really make a difference, at least anytime soon, I offer the following quotes:

"Millions of people agree that world-change starts with self-change, but few will do it."
-- Vernon Howard

"Throughout history, the really fundamental changes in societies have come about not from dictates of governments and the results of battles but through vast numbers of people changing their minds -- sometimes only a little bit...By deliberately changing the internal image of reality, people can change the world. Perhaps the only limits to the human mind are those we believe in."
-- Willis Harman, Global Mind Change

"We must become the change we want to see."
-- Mahatma Gandhi

And finally, my favorite quote on changing the world comes from an inscription on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in Westminster Abby (1100 A.D.):

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.

But it, too, seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family.

From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world.

Bring on the clouds

Clouds and Blue Sky, Honolulu, Oahu, HI, February 2006, HP Photosmart R817, Exposure 1/1087 sec @ f8.0, ISO 50, no flash © Steven Crisp

Different winds come from all directions. Some are clear, some carry dust, some are cold or hot, fierce gales or gentle breezes. In the same way sensations arise in the body--pleasant or unpleasant or neutral. When a meditator sees sensations as he does the winds, coming and going, clear or dust laden, fierce or gentle, he will fully understand them and be free from dependence on them. When he understands sensations perfectly, he will see beyond this conditioned world.
-- Samyutta Nikaya

Are you ready for whatever comes? Can you accept life, as it comes, since "it is what it is"? This is the secret of life -- of seeing life, experiencing life and all that it has to offer, without being a victim (or hero) in the movie called "life". In no way does this cut you off from the world, or its sensations, but rather allows you to fully experience them, in their true nature, just as they really are, without all of the baggage that your mind brings to the party. "These are 'good'; eeewww, those are 'bad'. I 'like' this but I 'hate' that." You can see, can't you, that those reactions have nothing to do with life as it really is, but are simply your conditioned responses to the natural, evolving, interconnected, creative energy called life.

But there is more -- you are a part of that drama we all experience. You help create it. Really -- think about it -- you do. If you "get out of bed on the wrong side" and therefore react to life's events as a victim, or worse, as if under attack, you will likely react based upon fear or anxiety, and contribute a negative input to this creative moment, by snapping at the waitress or at your spouse. The alternative -- being all cheery and upbeat -- may certainly seem more pleasant, but is equally artificial, and can you really sustain an artifically positive outlook when the clouds turn dark and ominous, for example, in the face of illness or death?

Why not see life for what it is, and detach your reaction to the sensations of life, by instead seeing yourself as a witness. Happy things may make you happy, and sad things may make you sad, but you do not get caught up in the drama -- much of it artificially stimulated by society and especially the media. That detachment can give you a sense of equanimity, which will enable you to offer loving-kindness and compassion to even those who are short and ill-tempered with you, since they just happend to get out on the wrong side of the bed this morning. And in that way, you are contributing to the creation of a more beautiful world -- both by experiencing it as such (really, all of life is beautiful), and by not becoming a victim, or creating ill-will toward another.

In such a world, dark clouds and storms will still arise, but our reactions to them will be balanced and appreciative -- because everything really is all connected -- and the flowers will not grow without the rain.